An Interview with Sarah Meier and Vicky Herrera (Authors of ‘Unscripted’)

unscriptedconversations:

via The 5 to 9 Life

A couple months ago, I posted a review of a book that opened me up to a new culture, a list of foreign talent and a breadth of knowledge of entertainers and creative individuals in the Philippines. The book is titled ‘Unscripted’, and the amazing authors behind aforementioned book are Sarah Meier and Vicky Herrera.

A while back, I was lucky enough for the chance to interview the two and now, I can finally reveal what went on during that interview.

1. Who are you and what do you do?

Sarah:
Hi. My name is Sarah. In a nutshell, I’m a half Swiss half Filipina chick that was born and raised in Hong Kong, spent my teenage years in Manila, and the rest of my life traversing the globe, getting paid to ask creative and famous people questions. I write articles for magazines I’m sometimes on the cover of, write scripts for TV shows I’m occasionally the host of, wear pretty clothes made by Filipino designers, run my mouth about how much I love the Philippines, and once in awhile I have the incredible opportunity to fall in love in and with Hip Hop all over again.

Vicki:
For work, I am a model, host and writer. But for life, I like to help people out with words I write, explore the world, have rich conversations with interesting people, and always experience new adventures. Who knows what I’ll evolve to become. This year, I’ve made “doing what I love” my first goal and I’ll let the career labels come later.

2. What’s the story behind ‘Unscripted’ and how did it first make its way onto the airwaves in the Philippines?

Vicki:
In 2009, when I was still working for Status Magazine, I received a call out of nowhere from my booker to co-host a radio show with Sarah. (Sarah and I are in the same modeling agency in Manila so he represents us both.) He told me that the same company behind MTV Philippines was starting a radio station called U92. They got Sarah to host a show and she needed a co-host – so they called me! I had no prior experience in radio, but I knew it was something I wanted to try. So within 15 minutes all I said was “When do we start?” Actually, I’m lucky to have been given that opportunity.

From there we had a solid one year of radio work in our morning show “The Dollhouse”, interviewing awesome guests from different industries in the Philippines. I feel like we really brought a fresh approach to a traditional medium. We really learned the ropes of how being a radio DJ was. In terms of lining up songs, creating great content, interviews as well as the being exposed to business side of marketing. I learned a lot from that new environment and I feel like I really grew up in a lot of ways.

After the show ended, we received a lot of messages/tweets from our Dollhouse fans wishing we were still on air. So we decided to come out with a book last December that documented the entire journey. From putting together the best interviews from the show, photos, plus adding great photography, art, and graphic design from our talented friends in Manila.

3. What did you want to express with ‘Unscripted’?

Sarah:
Completely honest answer? I’ve said a great number of things about this book being our gift to the next generation, and our “salute” to the one that came before us, but the most fundamental thing about getting ‘Unscripted’ done and out on shelves, was precisely that; getting it done and out on shelves. If Vicky and I got paid for creating concepts, we’d have matching minimalist beach houses on a private island, brownstone walk ups in Brooklyn, and a villa in the Italian countryside. Good ideas are EASY for us. But choosing which ones to invest passion, cash, and time into – and then doing all the grunt work to see it through? All I’m saying is that the process was the progress, and what that expresses is that a) to begin, you must dream without boundaries, and b) to make them real, you must create boundaries. Ah, the irony.

Vicki:
We wanted to express time-tested lessons that the youth could learn from but in a fresh way. The guests we interviewed have really lived interesting lives and we wanted to bridge that gap between the people who came before, and today’s generation. Bringing these “OGs” back in a way that was relevant for the youth to understand. ‘Cause at the end of the way, we can learn a lot from different people from their life stories.

Our guests are so diverse. We have everyone from the former first lady Imelda Marcos to the Philippine pioneers of hip-hop, Mastaplann. But what’s so great is that even if you never experienced the show, you never lived in the Philippines, or you never heard of us, you can pick it up and basically get the whole story right away.

READ THE REST OF THE INTERVIEW HERE…

(Source: unscriptedconversations)

Dollhouse Column: “Our ‘May’ wishes for you”

Published May 24, 2012

“May you…..”

So folks, Sarah and I always believe in the power of the spoken and written word. Since the month of May is wrapping up, here are the wishes we would like to come true. We suggest you write down your own wishes for May, too. Feel free to take what you liked below to fit your own circumstances when you write your own wishes. Happy wishing!

For my family.

May you find happiness in life every single day.  Not to look for an external landmark to finally say to yourself, “I’m happy,” but to have it every single day of your lives. May you always push toward success and realize your dreams, but without forgetting it’s truly the journey that counts.

May we help each other when we fall, celebrate when we succeed, and encourage when we feel disheartened. May we always be connected, whether we talk or not. May we always be supportive and strong in faith. May we always be grateful for the blessings. May we treasure smiles, adventures and misadventures, and moments of just being there for each other, because we know presence is priceless.

For my friends

May you happily create your path. May I be a better, supportive friend. May we strengthen our bonds through the years. May we learn from the bad times. May we mature together. May we learn from each other. May we never forget each other’s birthdays. May we never compete but always encourage our individuality. May we call each other randomly to say, “Hello” and “I miss you.” May we keep creating inside jokes. May I re-tweet your truth, like your status, and re-blog your thoughts. May we always listen and understand. May we never judge each other. May we always dance to good music and cheer to great laughs.

For my significant other.

May we never take each other for granted. May we always inspire each other. May we always keep what’s real to us. May we always smile from across the room. May we always reinforce each other’s values. May we always talk at the beginning and end of each day, to share what we’ve gone through and what we’ve learned. May we always enjoy a great meal together. May we never pretend. May we make room for each other’s faults. May we always help carry each other’s load. May we always motivate each other’s growth. May we always be thoughtful. May we keep dreaming.

For my enemy.

May we forgive each other.

For the country. 

May you further discover the beauty that lies in you. May you heal from the past. May you attract the right people who want to help you. May you be yourself always. May we do what we can to take care of you, promote you, sustain you, and nurture you. May we add more value to your soil. May we spend more time in your islands. May we learn from your history to create a better future. May we understand and preserve your culture better. May we always find ourselves coming back to you. May you never give up on us.

For myself

May you be open-minded for the next few chapters in your life. May you look back in kindness. May you learn to swallow your pride and be open to the lessons life will throw you. May you realize that one level of success is not an end-all, but a starting point, so keep improving yourself. May you always write what your heart will say. May you always express yourself truthfully.

May you boldly claim what you want your life to be. May you be brave to do what you think you cannot do. May you keep moving forward. May you always give back to the people who helped you, and to the people who need help. May you always keep your perspective real. May you always have a clear mind. May you keep going, even though some days are difficult. May you listen to your intuition. May you stay passionate about your life. May you always stay in faith.

May all of this come true.

Love, V

“I’VE BEEN finding myself on beautiful beaches all across the Philippines lately. Interpret that as you will,” Sarah says of this photo

I’m an odd mixture of the defiant and the debilitated at the moment, so you’ll pardon the departure from Vicky’s well-thought out and seamless piece, and hopefully kerplunk into mine without losing the point of what we would love you to do, which is to make your May wishes.

I just need to break the mold sometimes. (It’s a problem.)

May I?

May I take the time to sit propped up in bed at 1:55 in the morning, to tell you that if you are younger than I am, truth is, life doesn’t really get easier? You just learn to deal with hardships with more grace and wisdom as time goes by. Pain still hurts, and confusion is still real, and sometimes things still fall apart no matter how convinced you are that your heart was enough to keep it together. But falling in love still tingles, and laughter is still contagious—and though things from the past seem smaller the older you get, truth is, it’s the little things that hold weight.

Still.

May you be blessed with the ability to face it all with your head held high and a smile on your face, despite the fact that the gravity of life often seems hell-bent on pulling your shoulders down. What’s that quote about the number of muscles it takes to frown?

May I also be so brazen as to tell you you’re not dreaming big enough? Granted, I don’t know all of you, and you might have an elaborate plan that supersedes anything I could devise or comprehend, but I’ll take a chance and say that you can go further, go harder, be stronger, love better, fall better, rise steadier, heal deeper, move faster, breathe slower, act braver.

May you find your way and become a light that helps others find theirs.

Again.

Mama, I’d love to remind you that when you face the light, shadows fall behind you, and that you deserve to play in the sun. May I?

Albert, everyone knows you’re smarter and more talented than I am. May you identify whatever it is that’s preventing you from sharing that with the world, and set it on fire.

Banjo and Kaya, may I spend the rest of my life loving you with a consistency that propels us toward everything we pray for in the car every morning, and in bed at night.

May those whom I dedicate my life to, know so.

Always.

May I put my hand on your shoulder and have you sit down

Bend your head in reflection when I take off your crown

May I play you a song that you might have never heard

Help you find my story in a song with no words.

May we reach out in the dark and instead of groping for whatever’s there

Know to stay loyal and royal so that we may receive the lion’s share.

—S.

Dollhouse Column: “Chasing happiness and spirituality”

And then, I opened my eyes… That was the end of another meditation session—which followed the ritual of closing my eyes, quieting my mind, and reconnecting with my inner self.  I used to roll my eyes over meditation and all that so-called fancy talk, but lately it has started to work better for me.

This isn’t an article on religion, since it can be a touchy subject. Let’s just say I’m throwing ideas around on how I am able to connect to the spiritual side of my life.

Wikipedia gives me a better definition: “Spirituality can refer to an ultimate or an alleged immaterial reality; an inner path enabling a person to discover the essence of his/her being; or the deepest values and meanings by which people live.”

If there are things I’ve learned lately, it’s how much I wanted myself to change. In the years I started modeling and my media career, I’ve chased after things I thought would make me happy. I was convinced having accomplished certain things would guarantee me a good life, whether it was by wearing a certain brand or by being seen in a certain place, or even being associated with a certain group of “it” people. I thought to myself, once you checked off every item in the “How to be liked” list, happiness would follow.

But it never really did. In fact, the more I decorated myself with labels of what I thought I wanted, the things that made me look good on the outside, the further I seemed to be from attaining any kind of happiness.

I was slowly finding myself miserable, trying to keep up with all the nonsense. It was so tiring to keep pretending.

Lately, I’ve found deeper happiness in the things that are found within myself. A few years ago, I started to spend more quiet moments in reflection and contemplation. I made prayer a greater part of my lifestyle, and I found ways to listen to my inner voice more.

The most amazing things started to happen soon after. Happiness came to me quickly and simply. I didn’t chase it at all. I just found myself  in the state a lot. I found it in every small little thing, like the sound of my dog’s footsteps walking into my room, or the smell of fresh laundry. I found it during conversations with my mom, and laughter with my friends.

It wasn’t cloaked in a new, must-have item, or a status symbol. Instead it was cloaked in qualities I was starting to discover in myself. Like forgiveness, and compassion and love—for self and others.

I found happiness through the confidence I acquired doing the things I truly love… like writing, and learning, and sharing these things. I think de-cluttering my mind really helped me make better decisions. But you know what? It’s not the end of my journey yet…

I still have a long way to go. Despite my progress, I am still conscious of the way I write, even though I am into my second year in this column. I still have hiccups where I worry what people will think (doesn’t everyone?). I still try to be brave to speak my mind honestly. The point is: I’m taking baby steps to find inner happiness, not perfection.

This month’s column won’t be a column with any “how to be spiritual or how to find happiness” steps. Because with spirituality and happiness, I think it’s a personal discovery for each person. Whether it be out on the mountain or in the corner of your room, do what works for you. But I do recommend that you start.

~V

And because I told Vicky to write about her struggle, I want to practice what I preach, and pick up right where Vicky left off in confessing vulnerability, and tell you what’s weighing on my mind.

My feelings toward religion confuse me more than almost anything on this planet. They always have.

I keep telling the story about asking my mother in the time leading up to my First Communion if I could wait until I was older—to make that decision for myself after “seeing what else there was out there.” She obliged.

And though a civil wedding preempted and prepared me for a Church wedding, and the Church wedding was the day of my First Communion, I don’t know that I was any more capable of understanding my feelings about Catholicism then, than I might have been at the age of seven.

But where religion is something I feel I need to continue learning about (which may be the driving force in my going to Mass every Sunday without fail), my spirituality has been a source of absolute clarity. And like most things in life, the path to spiritual maturity has been riddled with all sorts of rattling land mines and floods, beautiful sunrises and starlit skies.

Ill-made decisions can, to a certain degree, be blamed on youth, lack of guidance, or circumstance–all bearing age-old wisdom. Yet all of the knowing has somehow felt familiar, like something that was inside you from the beginning.

I experience spirituality most when I’m in the ocean, or when I’m listening to music. I experience it most in moments of unspoken understanding between human beings, in times of pure joy, and times of despair. I felt it standing in the trenches during Tropical Storm “Ondoy,” in the same way I did when I was staring at the crowd singing along to Kanye West at the Brooklyn Hip-Hop Festival.

My mother lent me the gift of meditation at a very early age. My father lent me opportunities to watch the sun set over dozens of countries across the globe—on beaches, mountain tops, plains, in cities. My husband showed me God existed. My daughter reminds me that He does. My in-laws are proof positive that the family that prays together, stays together. Maybe that’s what I’m after, because that’s what my childhood was missing.

But the truth is, as dependent as I am on the consistency of religious practice in curtailing my freewheeling and impulsive nature, the solace I find elsewhere  is often just as, if not more, healing and sealing. I have a group of girlfriends that I adore, consisting of a Muslim, a Jew, a Methodist, a Catholic raised theist, and another friend, who never specified what she does and does not believe in.

We have incredibly uplifting and soul soaring conversations about spirituality, and love discovering that we all essentially believe in the same thing. And, going back to my reason for needing spiritual tradition in my life, their families are all complete and happy. So really, it’s not the technicalities of how you channel, express, and discipline your faith and relationship with a higher being, but simply that you know it exists and do right by it.

The thing is, as difficult as it all is to grasp—spirituality is something you know. It’s the God in you that tells you when you’re doing something right, or when you’re doing something wrong. It’s that gut feeling. The beauty of laughter and nature and uplifting conversation. Love. It’s more than what can be tracked in a science lab study, or by even the most able of psychologists. It’s what covers us when we need a moment to rest, or when we need a reason to keep going.

It’s what I wish for all of you, religious or otherwise. Especially the ones that don’t know  what they’re missing.

~S

Published April 27, 2012

OFF-SCRIPT

liyow:

My short feature on Garage on the lovely ladies of the Dollhouse and their amazing book, Unscripted. 

Thanks Leo! 

- The Dolls

(Source: thatmrbalante)

Dollhouse Column: “Get ready, get set, FLY”

Published March 2, 2012

Today was pretty normal—I woke up, made coffee, turned on my playlist, and wrote on my journal. Looking out the window, I saw my neighbor doing some serious tai chi; it wasn’t my usual bustling Makati scenery. There were at least four temples, and just a few minutes ago, a bus of tourists was parked outside.

Toto, we’re not in Kansas anymore.

I’ve kept my leaving Manila quiet, because I didn’t want to freak anyone out. I’m coming back soon; my home is where the heart is (as well as my favorite ChickenJoy). But for now there’s a dream I need to live out, and that involves traveling.

For some, it’s definitely scary. Why make the jump when things are good right where they are? But then, why let things stay good when you can make them great?

I have questions which can’t be answered by sitting in one place, and despite the fear that haunted me leaving home, I took the risk, and things haven’t been as intimidating as I thought.

Our fears are what stop us from moving out of our comfort zone. List your fears beside your dreams, so you’ll be able to see where the greater sign leads you. Open your eyes to the advantages—it’s inspiring to think of the person you can become when you’ve “lived a little.”

Point A to B

For some, the journey never stops. They are always on the road headed for something new, and most of us want the journey to be over soon. Just like on an 18-hour plane ride; after the first two hours, you get impatient. That’s exactly how it feels when you’re pursuing a life dream.

I wrote down a few things to help ease the anxiety of “life” traveling. We all need a few exercises to keep us sane during the seemingly stagnant and unsure moments in mid-air.

Keep the vision in front of you.

Like a donkey who keeps moving toward the carrot, carry your vision the same way. Write and re-write the vision, your goals, your dreams, or whatever it is you want to achieve. Keep it in your wallet, put photos up on your mirror, and always envision yourself moving closer toward your goal.

Court the muses.

When we had Lourd de Veyra as guest in our former radio show, I learned from him that inspiration doesn’t always hit you like a bolt of lightning. Sometimes you have to “court the muses.” There are times when everything is moving along nicely, then suddenly everything stops.

The next step is to keep working on things that keep you inspired. Do the work and be responsible for your muse.

Keep track of the progress.

We are too busy seeing how we haven’t reached our dream yet; we forget the good things that come along. Writing down your experiences helps you keep track of the good things.

A good playlist and a good book.

I had to include two of my favorite things—good music and read something that feeds your mind. Just because you’re in a waiting zone doesn’t mean your mind has to sit there. It’s awesome to take time out to enjoy other people’s art. These musicians and authors took time to create something great to share with the world. Always appreciate.

Faith.

Happy traveling,Because as much as we’d like to plan, you know a bigger pilot directs your steps. Have faith that in the end, it’ll all work out.

~V

My Dad loved planes. One of my favorite pictures of him was from his early 20s, standing on a dusty tarmac in Arizona, after having flown solo for the first time in his life. To learn how to fly was why he ended up in Arizona in the first place. Soon, he would find himself in Asia, where he would meet my mother.

She, too, loved to fly. A supermodel in the ’70s, Mama didn’t stay long in one country. She took every opportunity she could to soar as high as she could, but she always found her way back home.

And then there’s me. My parents made it a habit to match the number of countries I’d visited to how old I was. But flying was something I did on my own; my first plane ride without a guardian was at age 5. I flew from HK to London; I was treated like a princess, and I never looked back.

This all came flooding back to me, watching George Clooney’s “Up in the Air.” I mildly  shuddered at the familiarity of his character’s precision packing—how every item had its perfect place, the swift and expert movements of maneuvering his suitcase through security check, the calculated passport and ticket exchange.

Destination: Anywhere

We all have our comforts, but at some point to be uncomfortable is an essential part of growing up. It’s for this reason I’m going to ask you to identify where your nest, where “home” is.

It could be a physical place or a proximity to a person—“I’m comfortable wherever my friends are”; or it might even be a routine dependency or frame of mind—I can’t leave because, paano na ang/si ____________.”

Picture this place or comfort zone on a map. Bunch it all together into one bright red dot, and fasten to a figurative globe of the universe. Spin that thing, and realize how much surface there is to cover—how tiny a dot your everyday experiences are!

Remember how big and beautiful the world is.

Then look at where you put that dot on the map, and decidedly take flight. Destination? Anywhere.

(The fantastic thing is that you don’t even have to get on a plane to do so.)

Here are some things to remember:

Don’t forget how big and beautiful the world is.

You may not realize what you’re clinging to if you never try to let go.

Explore. Engage. Express. Do something that will be good for you for the very first exhilarating time.

It’s easier to see the bigger picture from a distance.

Explore the Philippines. Try moving out of your parents’ house when you get a real job. Walk on the other side of the street on the way home from school for a change. Wear your watch on the opposite wrist. Watch a movie you wouldn’t normally watch, and read a book you wouldn’t normally read. Go to a museum. Try an unfamiliar sport. Allow yourself to tap into the artist in you, and express yourself on paper, in music, on a stage. Rediscover the province or visit a new country. Study your family’s history. Envision the abundance in your family’s future.

Take flight.

You have wings, wings that cannot be clipped or tied by anyone or anything. I have a feeling that there’s something inside of you that knows exactly where those wings want to take you.

Go on. I’ll drive you to the airport as soon as you’re ready.

Peace be the journey.

~S

Dollhouse Column: “Where were you when you attracted love?”

Published on Feb 17, 2012

I almost didn’t make it here. I was this close to becoming a reader, instead of an author. Vicky’s piece has been waiting patiently in the wings for my half to come join it for days now.

Why? I felt it would be far too literal of us to jump into the month of February with some rehashed advice on how to spend your Valentine’s or how to be happy single, or with a piece telling you  love need not be celebrated only on one holiday of the year, but in small ways, daily.

But then that put me in a rut, because how do you talk about love without being clichéd?

In the month when flower companies calculate the extra red rose orders, and Hallmark says a bunch of Hail Marys that boys choose a handwritten card over an e-greeting, I ask you to shoot Cupid with an arrow of your own, and tell him to chill while you get real about the non-romanticized, practical, “everydayness” of the L word.

I think we can all agree there are different types of love. What the Greek categorized as agape, eros, philia  and storge essentially addresses all the hues of our red-tinged topic this month. Allow me to paraphrase, and summarize them to the best of my understanding and ability.

Agape—This is what I call “God love.” Faultless and unconditional. Pure and monumental. Healing. Without a crease, obstacle, or doubt.

Eros—The type of love that makes you want (and  need) to understand the world through and with someone. Empowering and exploratory. Curious and intense. Love that lends the concept of “beauty” the weight it deserves.

Philia—One for the homies. The love that drags you out of bed to make sure your friend has company on a night that matters to them. Loyal and persevering. Reciprocated and steady. Comfortable, familiar and something that isn’t riveting in its power, but a crucial foundation.

Storge—Familial love. Affection by osmosis. “I don’t have to like you, but I love you” type love.

But can you tell me: is one better than the other?

I know the instant reaction may be to say “God love” (agape) is the most ideal, and the love your Mother gives you, for example, is incomparable; but is it enough?

I encourage you to attract all types of love. How? I wish for you to recognize the different people and situations in your life that lend you experiences in giving and receiving, on all frequencies of this crazy emotion. The emotion that songs are written about, movies are based on, people live for, people die because of the lack of. The emotion that keeps people doing what they do, despite the obstacles life throws in their path.

This month—and heck, let’s carry this into March and beyond—let’s imagine each type of love as a cylinder. The agape cylinder, next to the eros one, beside the philia and the storge cylinders. Fill each one up according to how much of it you have in your life at this  moment. Color them as to how intense or important they are to you. Bright yellow? Sure. Gray? Fine. Only you know what is truly appropriate.

Now, check your levels.

Is one less full or vibrant than the other? Probably so.

Do you care about filling or maintaining vibrancy in one more than another?

I know many people are comfortable (and slightly complacent) about the love they get from friends and family, and are really only looking for someone to curl up next to them on movie nights. I also know many people who have an intense and communicative relationship with a significant other, but can’t seem to really address issues with the siblings, or with parents.

You want to know a secret?

Find yourself in love—and by this, I mean discover the types of love you already have in your life. Recognize the type of love you allow yourself to experience. See where you sit in the middle of your four-cylinder gauge, and lean back and kick your feet up. Relax. Why? Because awareness is the sole activator of self-implemented change.

All you need to do to attract the best love for you is to recognize and glow in the love you already have. Let the Universe, God and yes, even Cupid, do the rest of the work. Where you are now is where you ought to be, appreciating fully what exists.

But keep an eye on those cylinders that you want filled.

-S

As Valentine’s Day flirted its way into our week, I am wondering how I can possibly write another column that tackles relationship advice. I am no guru, and at the age of 24 I know I still have a lot to learn on the subject itself.

But I do know one thing. When it comes to love, we all ask tons of questions: “How can I find the perfect partner?, How can I get someone to like me?” The question I hate the most: “Am I good enough for ______?” (Side note: Yes, you are good enough, and don’t you ever question your worth again.)

There is no step-by-step recipe to cook up a love fest. Instead, I look to myself and come up with ways to be in love on my own.

I remembered this phrase during my most single days and said to myself, “It sounds pretty cool. I’ll be in love every single day.” No matter what, I said, I shall keep this feeling within me.

Love: life.

Looking around for things to fall in love with becomes a habit the more you practice. Being single forces you to focus on your wants. It’s a good time to look for things you love about your life. So take the time to truly discover your own little loves, from the intricate coffee foam designs, to taking photos of clouds. What are the simple things in life that give me happiness? Now, choose that.

Love: yourself.

The only opinion that counts is your own. It’s okay to decide for yourself what you really like without the pressure of agreeing with someone else. No guilty feelings of not having the same music or fashion tastes. Accept yourself by taking the time to own your likes, dislikes and decisions. I think it’s about time we stopped pretending to be someone else, in order to be loved. Don’t believe the lie that you aren’t good enough. Tell yourself the truth, and own it: You’re awesome.

Love: others.

The more I filled myself up with things that made me happy, I found myself wanting to pass this positive feeling on. A great way to truly be in love is to share the feeling. Pass it on. Treat someone out for dinner, listen to a friend, donate your clothes to a place that needs it. Just start small and work your way up to whatever feels more comfortable. The possibilities are endless.

The result

When I look back on the times I felt love the most, and actually attracted the right kind of person into my life, it’s when I really didn’t focus on the romantic type of love but on being and feeling love no matter what. I had to remind myself there is always something to feel good about. (This takes practice!)

Maybe I just had to stand up for the things that I believed in. Maybe I needed to be more authentic to myself.  Maybe I needed to be more grateful of the things around me. And maybe once I’ve mastered that, life will send me someone who is perfect for me.

Let me know what you think.

Sending you love from the pages of this newspaper  blog.

—V

Dollhouse Column: “Refresh, reset, move forward”

Published Jan 27, 2012 LINK

It’s been one year.

Although, we started off slow on this Dollhouse column, introducing all sorts of topics that spurred from our reader’s questions, I hope our pieces of advice helped you in your personal growth and journey.

That was our focus in 2011.

Sarah and I met to discuss 2012. We asked ourselves, how can we take the Dollhouse column to a new level? How can we offer something even better for our readers? What many of you don’t know, a lot of the pieces of advice we rolled out are those we also had to learn and re-learn. It’s not easy taking your own medicine!

We begin this column with a breather of some sorts. No questions will be rolled out on this one, but just a few thoughts to keep in mind. As we go along on our journey in life, we want to share our experiences with you, as well.

A new year always brings a new commitment. It’s a fresh start for you to go back and analyze how to improve. I know we have our resolutions, our revolutions and our evolutions. As we shift into becoming the new and improved butterfly, are we still stuck in the caterpillar mindset?

Meaning: Do you truly, honestly move forward with faith in your heart, or do you want to move forward and still hold on to your past self?

The topic of refreshing ourselves for the New Year kept popping up several times. I’m making my own big decisions and it feels unbelievably freeing. Sometimes, I need to check myself for the amount of emotional baggage I’m carrying with me. Do you ever feel there’s a certain baggage that sometimes feels hard to let go of? Some people, myself included, find that they are still reliving one experience over and over again.

In life, we are constantly on the road to new transitions, but we dump a mix of pain, trauma, disappointment, anger, envy and drama into the bag, not thinking twice of the amount of weight we’re allotted on this life trip. Is it really necessary? Will this help you in the new phase of your life?

I’m here to stop you at the check-in counter. I have your ticket ready for your new “you,” your window seat is reserved, but here’s the catch: You can’t take the baggage with you. So right now, let it go. Let it all go!

It’s time to wipe the slate clean and allow ourselves have room for new experiences to come. The more you let go of the past with a peaceful and forgiving mindset, you are freeing yourself up to enter a new phase. And that’s growth. It’s exciting, but it takes a lot of inner work. This hasn’t always been easy for me, but I told myself I would always try my best.

So here’s to the New Year; 2012 will be amazing for you. Start with your new resolutions, but don’t forget to do the proper inner cleansing you need to feel lighter. Refresh and move forward.

Love,

V

“Look to your soul, not to your past.”—Aleph

The quote pops up on Twitter, care of Jeff Bascon, who has (much like Paulo Coelho quotes have) become a supplementary source of inspiration and support in the past months. Jeff, the brand manager of Oxygen, silent and hardworking, slow to anger, calculated but weighted with his words; a steady supporter of Vicky and I in all of our endeavors. And now stop. Caution kicks in. See, this is where I find myself jerking a little bit with hesitation because I’m not an endorser of his brand, and maybe, if I mention him or it too much, I’ll be associated with them and ruin my chances of becoming the face for another apparel line. Maybe I’ll get in trouble for mentioning a company name in this newspaper column, because it could be misconstrued as advertising. But I always do this. Feel like I’m tiptoeing, when in reality, all I really do like is to stomp.

And not in the destructive sense but in the celebratory sense. In the musical, beat creating sense. But for a fair chunk of this past year, and perhaps even the past decade of my life, I’ve been whittled down to a graceful, almost silent dancer that could give Lisa Macuja a run for her tutu. Look at me though. We all know I’m not your typical ballerina.

“Look to your soul”—the quote says. And so I do.

We’re one month into the year, and I’m still not over 2011. My knife didn’t cut me off of it clean enough, and I feel like I’m playing catch up, trying to get to the “creating resolutions” stage many of you went through weeks ago. But here’s the thing—resolutions in themselves don’t suffice in this neck of the woods. Outlook…mindsets. That’s the key.

Today, as I write this, I make a little promise to take all my past mistakes and grievances, self-battery and pain, and have a little tea party with them. One last round of reliving, of having the cake I wanted to both keep and eat thrown in my face, one last time I burn my tongue in punishment of all the untoward things I may have wanted to say. At which point I excuse myself. Pat the corners of my mouth gently with the serviette at my place setting, and step away from the pity party.

It’s time to move on. Even the most efficient and positive of my friends and family are constant works in progress, and refreshing, resetting, seems to be a magical tool that isn’t used to dismiss or erase the past, but that frees you from getting caught up in it when momentum slows. We all deserve a refresh browser button in our lives, one that is designed to adapt to a “you” that’s being constantly updated.

Hit the button. Refresh.

Reload. Live in real time. Finger on the pulse. Speak your mind, like, connect, comment.

Reciprocate, reply, repost.

Share. Forward.

Forward.

Look to your soul, not to your past.

May you have the best-documented year yet.

-S